Last week I felt fantastic. Well, my tummy was bad, but my joints had relatively little pain and I had lots of energy (again, relatively). As a consequence of being a bit more mobile around the flat I had a couple more faints than usual, but it was worth it.
I got a lot done - things like laundry that are impossible when my joints are bad, but also made sure I took time to rest, to avoid boom/busting. Doing things like crochet, or clearing out my email inbox which require sitting down but make me feel like I'm getting something done are perfect for days like that.
This morning I woke up 3 times during the night with joint pain and the nausea is almost overwhelming. I had plans, but I can't do any of them. In a more accessible flat, if I had my wheelchair up here then I could, but for now I'm on the sofa under a blanket with crochet, the cat and a sick bowl.
There was no warning for this. It wasn't caused by anything I didn't do. Just a night disturbed by pain.
It gets really frustrating - I do so much stuff to keep myself as healthy as possible - special diet, exercises, sleep routine, aids - but sometimes I get days like today that remind me that really these things give me an illusion of having more control than I have. That's a rubbish thing to be reminded of.
Sorry if this makes little sense, I'm tired. Something more cheerful next time, I promise